The College Process is NUTS! PERMA Can Help

Why is the college process so potentially stressful?

Dr. Sonia Lupien, the director of the Center for Studies on Human Stress, coined the NUTS acronym. For anything to be truly stressful, it must contain two of the elements below.

N - novelty; something new

U - unpredictability; no way of knowing it could occur

T - threat to the ego; feeling your competence is questioned

S - sense of control; feeling you have little or no control in a situation

The college process hits all of these! Adolescents are especially vulnerable to stress in the home and in their peer group. It’s easy to see why the college process may cause insecurity and stress for both students and parents. Here’s where PERMA comes in.

PERMA is the creation of Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman, former President of the American Psychological Association and positive psychology proponent. It emphasizes five building blocks to encourage human flourishing:

Positive Emotion

Engagement

Relationships

Meaning

Accomplishment

The PERMA method can give parents a framework for reining in stress so students can focus on the positive qualities and talents they possess rather than the pressure to be admitted to certain colleges and a general fear of the process.

Here’s how I use PERMA to help my students:

We remain positive about the college process in spite of its unpredictability.

I encourage them to engage with colleges and current students to determine fit.

We form a relationship based on honesty, even when the information is hard to take.

Meaning comes from the excitement of becoming part of a new community at college.

Every step of the process is an accomplishment, from researching the unfamiliar, completing applications and essays, and even learning the importance of checking email.

When faced with a situation that’s inherently NUTS, look to PERMA. See links below:

https://heartmindonline.org/resources/nuts-understanding-stress

https://ppc.sas.upenn.edu/learn-more/perma-theory-well-being-and-perma-workshops

Rigor Matters, but Embrace Your Strengths

I’m deep into helping students in the course selection process, which means answering questions about what colleges want to see on a transcript. Just as we don’t need to read about the latest diet to learn that eating fruit and vegetables has a better nutritional return than munching on Smartees, we know the answer: competitive colleges, which includes all colleges with less than a 50% admit rate, want to see rigor above all.

There are four big “on paper” factors that students can control: rigor, GPA, extracurriculars, and test scores (these last two are not set in 3rd and 4th place–the most competitive colleges receive a plethora of high test scores though they are officially “test-optional,” and some large state schools focus more on rigor, GPA, and test scores than an impressive extracurricular list).

That’s why I will generally recommend challenging yourself regarding rigor.

So should you take every AP course offered? Think of it this way: AP courses are like college courses, and you typically take no more than 4 or 5 courses per semester in college. Your schedule and activities are much more demanding in high school, so 4 or more AP courses are likely too many. Double up in an area of interest instead.

Are AP courses the right choice for everyone? Of course not. Approach rigor at your own level, meaning enriched courses for some, honors courses for others. The maximum number of AP courses offered is appropriate for some students. Contact me to learn what the colleges on your list want to see–there is no one answer to the rigor question.

What about overriding recommendations? Challenge yourself, but know the rules. Can you drop the course early on, or must you wait a whole marking period or semester first? Only override recommendations in your areas of strength!

Trust in your ability to rise above your limits while you trust in yourself to know what's best for you.

Let’s Be Honest About Fun

This week, I asked a student what matters to him most about college. His answer was “having fun.”

Was this the wrong answer? Since students have fun at many colleges, it’s an easy requirement for me to fulfill as I build a list. Of course, I need to know more than that–but what if the student doesn’t know themselves? I appreciated this answer from a very authentic 17-year-old.

So I don’t need to dwell on the “campus life fun” aspect of building a college list too much. I prefer to focus on the colleges’ priorities–engagement with academics.

If you’ve spent your high school (and maybe middle school years or earlier) developing an interest in aspects of science (COVID has encouraged a wider interest in epidemiology and the history of pandemics), then immersing yourself in this information is one type of “fun.” Are you enthusiastic about following the markets and learning about companies in a particular sector? That’s your type of “fun,” whether you’re investing real money or not. Do you want to pursue a degree in Computer Science because you love to play video games and enjoyed a CAD course? Dig deeper into how the parts of the games you love come together, build an app or even a computer (lots of great how-to youtube videos), and create a website–it will provide hours of “fun.” I could go on with examples from many fields, but you get the point.

Going to parties and attending or playing games is fun. But the fun described above reflects curiosity, perseverance, critical thinking, and goal setting. These components are pure gold in your essays and applications–they literally jump off the page. That will make our work together smoother, easier to complete–and certainly more fun.