No one likes planning more than me, but…

I was contacted by an 8th grade parent to help her son prepare to apply to BSMD programs. Beginning to think about the college process early in high school makes sense for some, yet this seemed extreme. BSMD programs, which leave little room for any type of college experience desirable to most students, offer a direct path to medical school, sometimes eliminating the MCATs and the stress of applying to medical school. Is a 13 or 14 year old ready to make that choice?

That’s an unusual example. Yet many of my freshmen and sophomores are sure that they will study medicine, law, or business at the graduate level immediately after earning an undergraduate degree. Some do and are satisfied with their choices, but more change their minds. Instead, most grad students I work with arrived at their decisions after an epiphany well into their college careers.

There is a good reason to hold off–most notably the benefit of internships, fellowships, assistantships, and work experience gained in a year or two (or more) after graduation. These efforts make students stronger candidates. The arduous graduate school application process, which can include many stressful interviews, standardized testing, and longer, deeper essays than those undergrads must write, may be better spent later than during the senior year of college. Of course, the opportunity of a first year assistantship or fellowship may be tough to turn down.

Think honestly about burnout: would you rather immerse yourself in research or work experience without the stress of senior year courses and exams?

Finally: I think of a friend who had completed all the requirements to apply to medical school until the moment of graduation, then realized it wasn’t for him. Students should give themselves time, regardless of outside pressure, to figure out who they really are, and what makes them happy and fulfilled. The path is often less linear than we like to think.

Deferrals, Again…

I planned to write about grad school, but this subject is in the air.

It began two or three years ago. Why would the student with a weighted 3.7 GPA and a 25 ACT be admitted to a competitive college while one from the same high school with a GPA of 4.2 and ACT score of 32 be denied? This year, students with 4.5 GPAs and 1500 SAT scores are being deferred by many colleges. What’s driving this trend?

When I text a top student about decisions and don’t hear back, I know what that means. Thankfully, none of my deferred students who responded are upset. They are happy with their current decisions and look forward to more.

Nationwide, my colleagues express anger and disappointment. “What are they looking for? There is no logic!” Many reactions focus on the decisions at a popular competitive midwestern university:

“OOS (out of state) student deferred. #3 in class. 1550 SAT. Great extracurriculars, essays. Surprised…and not surprised.”

“OOS boy (engineering) with 5.52/6.0. 1510 SAT. Robotics internship with Boston Dynamics, teaches kids to code, great story and “Why Us? essay.” Deferred.”

“OOS girl (business) ADMITTED. No test scores. Strong GPA/extras, but not at the level of my deferred applicants. Deferred at Miami and Northeastern. This year hurts my head.”

Yes, deferral to the RD pool beats denial. I help students respond to deferral requirements and write Letters of Continued Interest. One was admitted after writing a letter, as the university requested.

We need to be honest with our students. First, review the data. Not every student who works hard will be admitted to the most popular, highly-selective colleges. But we also feel the frustration and pain of our kids–and support them. None of this has anything to do with their qualifications. Institutional priorities drive the process.

A deeper point: the idea of a “dream college” is no more than that, and the “University of ______” is not the only place to shape your future.

Quoting my blogpost from April 18, 2021: “Our students are real, prestige is not. They transform themselves and their institutions, creating what we equate with prestige (knowledge, reputation, achievement) when they engage on their campuses.”

The Welfare of the Student

“The primary obligation of LCS is the welfare of the student” is the most important line in my contract.

But what is the welfare of the student? It’s simply caring. I show my students and families that I care by providing perspective and taking the intensity down.

When families and students consider college, every moment can be stress-filled. What does a parent truly want? As much as we believe that it’s admission to a highly-rejective college, it’s really for our kids to be happy and healthy (mentally and physically) and confident about their futures. We also want our kids to know that we love and support who they are.

That’s why I remind parents how much their children want to please them. If your idea of success is for your child to attend Harvard (or any other college in this minute category), then any outcome outside that <10% acceptance rate will make your child feel like a failure. Because admission to these colleges is based on institutional priorities, a denial or deferral has little to do with the student’s qualification (provided the student/family understands what is required to be a competitive applicant to the most selective colleges). It has even less to do with their future success and happiness.

Parents: be excited about the realistic options on your students’ list and not just their reaches and unlikelies. This will give them confidence and make them feel successful and happy about the college process and allow you to enjoy it together. I support my families for three, two or just one year, but to me, “welfare” really means your child’s big picture, longterm welfare as well.

Look for next week’s post about my grad school applicants.